Growing up in a Christian household was the foundation of my salvation. I can’t remember a time I did not believe in God and know that Jesus Christ died for my sins; it had been drilled into me countless times. Growing up with this knowledge, I stayed away from seemingly major sins. However, my main error was that I was not exploring my relationship with the Holy Spirit. I would rely on the counsel of “Christians” around me that I thought were strong in their faith. I would read Bible plans on YouVersion Bible App, but I did not allow the Holy Spirit to truly transform. I would seldom obey convictions. I recognized Jesus as Savior, but not Lord. I was happy that Jesus dealt with my sin through His blood, but I was not ready to crucify my flesh.
The Holy Spirit was only taught as the force backing the power of God to heal people or start revivals in my church, so I was not entirely too sure why He wanted to communicate with me on a personal level outside of the church. Shunning my
relationship with Him made me prey to the devil as I tried to live as a Christian without the leading of the Holy Spirit. To reap life, one must sow in the spirit and trust the flesh for nothing, but I trusted in my flesh. I could dishonor my mother, talk to the opposite sex flirtatiously, and most especially, drop spiritual things temporarily anytime selfish ambition arose. Selfish ambition and validation from the opposite sex were yokes around my neck because my relationship with the Holy Spirit, the very life of God in me, was lacking.
During 2020, the year the pandemic struck, due to the increase of alone time, I plunged into God. My steady growth in God was short-lived due to the cares of life. I wanted to move to Galway for the longest time. My mum was against the idea, so I prayed about it. One day, she was driving me to work and she said, “You can go to Galway.” Even to this day, she does not know how she released me into a county where she knew nobody. I stayed a babe, I thought like a child and acted like a child.
At the start of a particular year in January, I knew there was more to being a Christian, so I fasted for the month, asking God to connect me to a church because I needed help. Humility was what God was looking for from me all this while. My relationship with God drastically improved as I plunged deeper into humility. Now, my relationship with the Holy Spirit is my most prized possession, and Jesus, truly, my Lord.